THE WAR OF THE BUTTONS
WITH A BUNCH OF KIDS (and their parents...)
Sir! Would you like to buy stamps to help people with tuberculosis?
Help fight people with tuberculosis!
It's for cancer!
You boys from Longeverne aren't very quick.
The boys from Velrans already hit me for two books of stamps.
And that was at least an hour ago.
Two? Why did you buy from them since you are from Longevernes?
It's because the sick can't wait.
You don't mess around with sickness, you know?
Watch out!
Everything's fine as long as you're healthy.
But when you're sick...
You don't mess around with sickness.
Everything's fine as long as you're healthy.
But when your health goes, you can't mess around with sickness.
Which one do we attack?
The priest! He can't turn us down. Father!
- Would you like some stamps? - It's for a good cause!
Darn it! He's already got some, too!
On top of that, he made us miss Nestor.
Let's run after him! He has to walk his bike uphill.
How dare you try selling me stamps?
I'll show you what I think of that!
Hey, you jerks from Velrans! He's our mailman, not yours.
We can forget about the priest, but Nestor belongs to us.
You can't sell him stamps.
Nestor? From Longeverne? He belongs to all of France.
- That's right! Nobody owns him. - Go ahead, call us jerks again.
- Jerks! Jerks! - Thieves! Mailman stealers!
You people from Longeverne have soft balls!
What does that mean?
Everyone from Longeverne has soft balls!
Beat it!
Get lost, losers!
I'm gonna tell--
I'm gonna tell Lebraque.
Guys, the first bell's ringing!
I thought he said "snowballs."
- Hi, Gibus. - Hi.
I knew I shouldn't have went.
- What happened? - Some Velrans jerks ambushed us.
- They pelted us with stones. - Then they said we were snowballs.
- They didn't call us that. - So what did they call us?
What names? What names?
Well, we didn't really understand.
- Let's go ask Lebraque. - Yeah!
What names? What names? Tell me!
Stamp sale to raise funds for the fight against tuberculosis.
Here come the Gibus brothers.
What happened?
What do you want?
So... what do you want?
Sir, are there any bad words with "soft" in them?
You're asking me that?
I don't know any bad words.
My eye!
Come on, what's the baddest bad word that has "soft" in it?
"Balls," we know, everybody's got them. But why "soft"?
We don't care, but we must find out if it's nasty.
Guys!
Even the teacher doesn't know what it is.
- You moron! You told him? - Yeah, but not to his face.
Hey, you're smart, little Gibus.
Move out of my way.
Hey, Gaston, come here.
- Where's your father? - Over there.
Go call your father "soft balls."
- He'll give you some candy. - Will I have to give it to you?
It's okay, you can keep it. Go, and don't forget!
Soft balls, soft balls, soft balls.
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
All right, settle down.
- Finished counting, Lacrique? - Yes, sir, it's a piece of cake.
Hey, Camus, did he come out yet? - No.
Groucoulard: none sold. Tintin: none sold. Camus: one sold.
- That will make the count uneven. - Boulon--
Here he comes!
Back in your seats everyone. Camus, sit down!
Lebraque!
Tonight, we'll show the Velrans...
if we have soft balls.
- Come on, guys. - We've been running pretty fast.
- Did you bring the chalk? - I've got my pockets full of it.
Guys, guys! Wait for me!
Sorry, my parents won't let me go without him.
You really look stupid. Let's go.
Why don't we take the road?
- The rabbits' way is faster. - No way, we'll tear our pants.
Just do like everyone else I'm the chief.
I didn't say I wasn't coming.
But to have chiefs, you need a vote.
You must be kidding.
- Who knows about ranks? - Me! Captain. That's a big one.
I know a guy who's a sergeant. He's smart. He finished the 7th grade.
Yes, but the best is being a first class soldier.
So, that means that there are second class soldiers...
- and also "freight class" soldiers. - Do we vote or choose our rank?
Let's choose. I'll be a second class colonel.
Better yet, a locomotive colonel or a luggage wagon colonel.
- You're really starting to bug us. - But we need to have chiefs.
You know, in real life, the chief is the one with the biggest weenie.
Just look at dogs... and goats... and rams... and foxes.
It's the same everywhere.
- Come on, take off your shoes. - What are we gonna do?
You'll see. Shh!
You go first.
Who? Me?
He won't pay attention to a kid carrying a milk can.
He'll go back inside.
- What am I gonna tell him? - Nothing, just walk past him.
Are you a colonel or what? So, just follow the orders.
I knew I shouldn't have went.
Are you the one who's making the dogs bark?
My brother! What are we gonna do?
Come, my little one.
Sit here.
- Has the cat got your tongue? - He must be in shock.
You gave him such a scare. You're always yelling.
- I didn't yell, I spoke. - You should have shut your mouth.
Hello, little guy. If I shut up, he won't talk.
You scared him.
Let's give him a little nip. We can't leave him like that.
Soft balls.
A little shot of calvados never hurt anyone.
That will make you run like a rabbit, you'll see.
- Yeah. - That's it.
Soft balls.
- He's at the Laztecs. - We've got to go.
Go watch the corner.
Give me the chalk.
Stay with me, Lacrique, in case I spell something the wrong way.
Are you feeling better?
What's he saying?
- What are you saying? - I... I spilled my milk.
He's just upset about his milk.
It's only a half gallon of milk. We'll give you some.
- Henri, go fill his can. - What?
I'm doing my homework.
- I told you to go get him milk. - I'm not at his service.
Well, we'll see about that. Go now.
All right. Okay.
Go ahead, make even more noise.
- It was good. - You like it, huh?
Put an "S" there.
- Watch out, here comes a car. - Done.
ALL THE VELRANS ARE CREEPS
- We showed them. - Yeah, and good luck erasing it!
My little brother! I lost him.
Good night, my good people.
My pants are bursting at the seams
He learns fast, uh?
He's drunk as a skunk.
- Hey, little Gibus! - He must've emptied their cellar.
My pants are bursting at the seams
If it keeps going you're gonna see my--
Quiet. We're fishing.
Your umbrella, little Gibus.
Quickly.
Give me the worms.
- Is that enough? - Yeah.
Look, I can see myself.
Do the fish see the real me...
- or do they see me like this? - Why do you care?
Because, if they see me like this, it must scare them to death.
- The Velrans! - Show yourselves!
Creeps, losers, pigs.
Here I am. You don't need to scream, fartface.
- Fartface yourself. - Come on, get over here.
We don't need to get closer, you smell rotten from here.
- Your sister is-- - My sister pees on your head.
Something wrong with that?
Your parents can't pay their mortgage!
Mortgage yourself!
Are you gonna come fight us or what?
Do you think you're gonna get us?
Wait 'til we get to you tomorrow, you creeps from Velrans.
You'll get your butt kicked by the soft balls from Longeverne.
Take shelter behind the umbrella, everyone!
- The bastards. - That's not fair.
Let's go! It's Mr. Schaefer! He's blind as a bat!
- Camus, grab the oars. - Hide, little Gibus.
And you, Boulon, move it!
Got it!
So did you figure out how much a pound of apples costs?
Yeah, it's 150,000 francs...
point 3333 and some change.
So are we at war?
- Why is he going to our bathroom? - Why doesn't he use his own?
"General Mobilization To hell with the Velrans!"
To hell with the Velrans!
Are you crazy or what?
- To hell with the Velrans! - Did anybody see my glasses?
Wait. Let's hide here and take some prisoners.
Degalle! Migue The Moon! Get Lebraque!
Ready, guys? I got one.
Hurrah, we got Migue The Moon!
- You're dead meat. - You're trapped like a rat.
Let's lynch him.
Is it true that you torture prisoners?
You haven't seen anything yet. Give me your knife, Camus.
What are you gonna do to me?
Move back, so that everybody sees.
- What should we cut off? - His ears! His tongue!
- His snoot! - Let's cut off his weenie.
If you touch me, I'll tell the priest and the mayor.
How are you gonna do it? You won't have a tongue anymore.
And no weenie, either.
- Should we start from the top? - Yeah.
Ears first. Hold him tight.
Please, Lebraque! Please don't!
Chicken. It's only the back of the knife.
- Is everyone like you in Velrans? - You're not even bleeding.
We should put him in a cave and go fart, one after the other.
It would be like a gas chamber.
- Now let's get... - No! No!
...serious.
I don't care about your ears, your snoot or your weenie.
Only one thing matters to a man.
His honor. And in five minutes, you won't be proud of yourself.
No, Lebraque! Please don't!
Where does he get all these ideas from?
Now, go see your priest and your mayor.
We sing all the way to Victory
As she awaits us with open arms
Freedom guides our steps
From the north to the south
the Trumpet of War
sounds the charge
Fourth requirement:
you must register to vote...
at your town hall.
- Hey, Lebraque. - What?
- They said they'd be back tonight. - Then we'll thrash them again.
Tell the others and go hide again in your tree.
Lebraque.
What are the requirements to be able to vote?
- Let's meet tonight at the quarry. - I've warned you before, Lebraque.
- Watch out for detention. - Please not tonight, sir.
I'm still waiting. What does it take to be able to vote?
You must know your geography.
Be quiet, Macailler. It doesn't hurt to know your geography.
But that's not enough to be a voter.
- You must be from that country? - What country?
France.
All right.
What else?
This is not the day to get detention.
Could you be a voter?
- No, sir. - Why?
Because you don't have hair on your ass yet.
- What did you say, Lacrique? - I said that, uh... uh...
- What? - It's because he's too young, sir.
Excellent answer.
Big Gibus! You're staying after class.
- Sir, please-- - You too, Lebraque!
It's not his fault. I was the one whispering the answers to him.
Then you'll join them in detention.
Those dummies, now we're short three guys. I'll have to lead.
Fourth requirement: you must register to vote at the town hall.
Fifth requirement:
Hurry. We're late.
What's happening? What are you doing down there?
I can't see anymore! I can't see!
- Give me back my bandage. - What are you doing here?
I knew I shouldn't have went!
What would you have done? They had at least ten extra guys.
- Where are the others? - I don't know. They're all over.
What a thrashing.
- You guys look pitiful. - Hey, we were outnumbered.
That's no excuse. One Longeverne is worth ten of those Velrans creeps!
Come and get me.
You can play tough now but you'll have to come down sooner or later.
Sooner or later, I'll have to pee, and guess who will get hosed?
Guys, guys. Here comes Lebraque.
You two, block his retreat. Everybody else with me.
Watch out, Lebraque, they're stalking y--
Lebraque.
Let's go.
- I heard you torture prisoners. - He wanted to cut off my weenie.
Yeah, but I don't need the mayor or the priest to defend me.
Get him!
- Soon you won't be so proud. - That's not very original.
Shut up!
Do you see me cry or squeal like a piglet?
- Should we pay you honors? - Leave him alone.
You. Tell me. Is Longeverne this way?
What time is your brat coming home?
Finally. Do you know what time it is?
Answer your mother.
Yes, I know what time it is.
Where have you been?
Did you hear me?
Button up your shirt and your jacket.
- Do you call that buttoned up? - God, you always break things.
- It just stayed in my hand. - Just like the plate this morning.
I told you I didn't mean to do it. I don't know my strength.
- I spend my life fixing everything. - Hush now.
Stop arguing. It was torn beforehand.
And all my buttonholes are destroyed.
Your buttonholes?
Anyhow, they were useless since I don't have buttons any more.
What the hell is this?
- How did you get into such a mess? - I won't talk.
You're gonna to tell me, you little rascal.
I know I deserve a beating so go ahead. Get it over with.
On top of it, he's asking for it!
- I can't believe this. - My stool!
Now it's the stool.
Your shirt, your buttonholes and buttons and now the stool.
Do you think we're the Rockefellers to be able to afford this?
I'm gonna show you, you little good for nothing.
- No! - I'll teach you respect.
- Mommy! - Scoundrel.
Control yourself, Eugene.
Just tell him he'll go to school naked tomorrow as punishment.
Control yourself, he's just a little boy.
Just tell him we'll send him naked.
Explain to me what a "courtyard" is.
I don't know, but I know a yard is about this long.
Things have not improved, Lebraque. I'm going to run out of patience.
Sorry, sir, I'm just thinking about something funny.
We'll talk about this later. Everybody out. Recess.
- Me too, sir? - You too.
- I'm not punished? - No.
- Are you gonna tell my father? - You'll see.
Please don't, sir.
You got another thrashing yesterday. Is that it?
I can take the thrashing but I'm afraid to be sent to boarding school.
- He wants to send you there? - And he will. Can't you tell?
What I can tell is that you clown around and do nothing.
Just leave me in my corner, sir. I promise I'll behave.
We're not at the sand quarry, Lebraque.
You're not the boss here, I am.
- Did you go to boarding school? - Yes.
- And it didn't kill me. - But it's different for you.
I can't learn but I know a lot of useful tricks.
Is that enough?
Fishing and hunting. That's enough to feed a man.
Start with learning your lessons.
We'll see about the boarding school with your father. Out of my sight.
Wait!
- What was so funny earlier? - Nothing, sir. It's my mother.
She wanted me to go naked so I wouldn't ruin my clothes.
- That's funny. - Not really, but what's funny...
is the idea it gave me.
Do you see anything?
Only Camus in the tree. They chickened out.
Exactly what I wanted. Let's go.
Everybody on him! Surrender, Camus!
Let's climb the tree.
Here come the Velrans.
Let's go!
I wanna go too.
Hey, guys! Lebraque!
Lebraque. Where are you?
I knew I shouldn't have went!
- I knew I shouldn't have went. - Well, you shouldn't have.
- My pants don't fit me anymore. - God, you guys sound like we lost.
We shouldn't have chased them so far. It was cold out there.
Camus's right. Stop whining. Did we kick their butt or not?
Yes, but by now, they're warm and toasty.
There's a slug in my shorts.
That'll give you an extra one.
Are we gonna sing or not?
We sing on our way to Victory
as she awaits us with open arms
Freedom guides our steps from the north to the south
I'm gonna be sick.
- I'm never doing this again. - Me neither.
I knew I shouldn't have went.
"I went through--" Past tense.
"The village to continue--"
Infinitive. "My journey."
- Gambette, give me that note. - What note, sir?
You mean, you don't know that you have a note in your left hand?
See, I told you. Bring it to me.
Lebraque. Did you write this?
I didn't mean it, sir.
I'll mean it when I correct your mistakes. Come to the blackboard.
- Write this. - This? On the blackboard?
Yes, but first, read it out loud.
- You want me to read this? - Are you deaf or what?
- "I figured it out. - Past tense.
- To mend out clothes, let's find-- - Imperative.
- some money in order to buy-- - Infinitive.
buttons, shoelaces, suspenders, belts...
needles, thread, the whole thing.
- Everybody must-- - Present tense.
- contribute 20 francs per week." - Oh, no!
I knew I shouldn't have went!
- What's wrong with you? - I've got diarrhea.
Go then.
- Come on, little Gibus. - Hurry up.
- I'm not coming out. - What's with you?
Lebraque is a scumbag. Let him come to piss, I'll show him.
- Don't you think it's a good idea? - Yeah, we'll always have buttons.
We could even start a war chest.
- Where would we put it? - In the forest.
- We'd have a cache. - Depends how big our war chest is.
- And we'll have to guard it. - Then it's a doghouse we need.
Or a fort. That's it! We could build one with branches.
- And with planks and nails. - A fort just for us, no one else.
Hey, Lebraque!
Come over here if you dare.
What's with you?
How can I afford 20 francs a week?
Like everyone else. We decided to be a republic, so we're all equal.
I only know one thing: Equality, Fraternity.
You don't know anything. Some of use have money and some don't.
- That's right. I can't pay. - Me neither.
Then we can't have Equality, Fraternity anymore.
If some pay and others don't, it's back to royalty.
And I guillotine kings.
So do we, but it's easy to speak of equality--
- Equality is when nobody pays. - No, it's when we all pay the same.
How about the poor? You're shaming us, Lebraque.
That's not worthy of a good citizen.
So, Lacrique, what's equality?
Equality means that you have as much as your neighbor.
- See, I told you. - So we're not practicing equality?
Well, since some of us don't have money--
Those who can pay stay here, those who can't, stand by little Gibus.
I don't want the poor in the john, since it's not a shame.
The poor over here and the rich over there.
Okay, here's what I suggest.
Let's leave our own money out of it.
That money is not for our army.
It's for our personal use.
The money we'll hide in our fort.
- What fort? - I'll tell you later.
We must raise our own money and it must belong to everybody.
Lacrique, is that equality?
Yes.
I knew it!
How are we gonna make money?
- Let's pick mushrooms. - That's it.
- And watercress. - And catch frogs.
- And vipers. - They sell for 10 francs in town.
- Foxes too. But we'll need luck. - How much do they go for?
Lacrique, you're in charge of finding out all the prices.
What do I do?
We're a republic! There'll be jobs for everyone!
Vive l'equality!
Inspection.
- How many have you caught? - 14.
14 times 2 equals 28 frog legs at 60 francs per dozen.
That makes 100 francs and--
Make it an even count, okay? Let's go.
Watch out, the Velrans.
He's in the tree. Go faster!
What are you two doing here? I told you to keep watch.
- We found a vipers' nest. - That's not your job.
- Go back to your station. - What do we do with these?
Wow! 3 live vipers. 30 francs.
- You drained their venom, right? - Yes.
Give them to me and go back to your station.
- How many pounds? - We can't find anything.
- I can smell mushrooms from here. - Yes, but not the right kind.
Do what you gotta do, but I need 4 pounds by tonight.
- Is that the Velrans? - No way. Take this. I'll go check.
Lacrique, do you see the fox?
- Is it a male or a female? - I couldn't tell.
Because they pay twice as much for females.
I see it!
There! There! There!
- Hurry, Lebraque! It's in there. - Make sure it doesn't get away!
Get some dry branches, Camus. We'll smoke him out.
Follow me, guys! Let's get some rocks!
- You'll be the dog, little Gibus. - What?
- Be the dog. Bark in there. - All right.
Get me some wire, Lacrique.
Some wire?
There you go.
We're gonna poke him with this.
Get out of the way. It's burning!
Get out!
Between this and the smoke, it'll have to come out.
And bam! Hit it on the coccyx.
Not the coccyx, the occiput.
I can feel it move.
The reward, plus the extra bonus if it's a female...
- plus the fur price-- - It's coming out.
Darn. A male.
A male? I'll show you if it's a male.
- What are you gonna do to him? - What we didn't do to Migue.
Look! A female.
Here, Lacrique. We've got at least 4 pounds.
- It's not all ceps. - Well, we got a bit of everything.
- Who are you gonna sell those to? - I know some pretty dumb people.
We'll put the good ones on top.
They're all good ones.
- You're the best sister ever. - I've got everything.
Wow! Luckily, our fort will be big.
- They didn't find it peculiar? - I made several trips.
I went to Terrin, then Montabot. I said it was for Mrs. Champopourt.
It's full. Do you want me to help you close it?
No need. You've helped us a lot already. Thanks, goodbye.
The four corner posts are already up and we've started this wall.
- Will there be room for a table? - No problem.
The fireplace will be here and the door there.
We'll have to decorate so we can feel at home.
We've got an old clock that doesn't work anymore in our attic.
Bring it.
I'll bring my parents' wedding picture.
I'll bring the picture of my dad as a soldier posing with a chick.
- It's mom, you dummy. - Mommy, my eye!
- I'm telling you. - Mommy, my eye!
- Guys, I swear it was my mom. - We don't care.
We'll have to find a spot for our war chest.
Here's our war chest!
Move out of the way. Don't touch it.
You're not allowed to look. You didn't bring the vipers!
- It's not my fault! I was scared! - You made us lose 30 francs.
- Get him out of here. - We want to see!
- I'll show you everything later. - That's not equality!
To hell with the republic. Long live the King!
- 50 shirt buttons. - Wow.
24 for pants.
18 for sweaters.
11 fasteners.
3 pairs of suspenders.
2 spools of white thread.
Let's stick everything in our pockets, we'll count later.
I'm gonna repeat "buttons" the whole day. If he asks me why, I'll talk.
- Shut up. - Buttons.
- Quiet. - Buttons, buttons.
- What's happening, Macailler? - Nothing. Just saying "buttons."
- What are you saying? - "Buttons, buttons buttons."
Are you sure you're feeling well? Maybe you should go to the doctor.
Let's go.
Take another five minutes, the fresh air will do you good.
Long live the King. Shit!
Go straight to the fort with the buttons and wait for us there.
- The Velrans can show up today. - Even cut off our buttons.
- And even put holes in our pants. - We don't care about your pants.
Marie will fix them.
She'll mend them.
- She'll brush off the dirt. - She'll wash them.
Look what I'm gonna do to my pants.
Me too.
Look at me!
To hell with the Velrans!
I can't walk anymore. My leg is hurting.
I'm going to see the school nurse.
I don't care about your stupid war since I'm a Royalist.
Stop. A white flag.
I request a ceasefire. We have an injury.
- It's a trap. - Come see for yourselves.
- Don't go. - It's Lebraque I'm talking to.
- Have your men step back. - They won't move, I swear.
Stay here.
Is that a trap?
It's your stupid slingshots.
You fight us with slingshots too.
- He's got a broken leg. - See.
Hey, we didn't do it on purpose!
- He's young, he should recover. - For sure.
He needs a splint. Just tie a piece of wood to his leg.
- Will my shoelace do? - Let's use mine, yours is leather.
- Go cut me a branch. - From a birch?
- No, get one from the oak there. - Okay.
What are you doing?
I'm preparing the spot where we'll put flowers.
- How come you're not at the war? - I'm injured. I need your help.
- What's wrong with you? - My leg. You need to massage it.
- Higher. Massage my thigh. - No, that's disgusting!
Just a bit. I'll feel better.
I told you it's disgusting.
- If I were Lebraque, you'd day yes. - What do you think I'd say?
- You'd say something else. - Leave me alone or I'll tell him.
- What will you tell him? - I'll tell him what you said.
- I didn't say anything. - That's what you say.
Just wait 'til I tell him!
Go home or you'll get scolded.
So what do we do now?
- Depends. Anybody got the time? - 10 to 7.
- It's late. - Shall we start again tomorrow?
Step back, guys. Don't show them your backs.
Why should't they? We're not backstabbers.
We know here the Velrans are.
The Longevernes are scum.
- We didn't ask for the Armistice. - It was a ceasefire.
Still, it was a good trick to avoid getting thrashed.
We'll see who'll get thrashed.
You chickened out.
Speak for yourselves.
- Creeps. - Scumbags.
- We would've thrashed you. - We'll see about that tomorrow.
Soft balls!
Twits!
You told Mr. Trachet you'd return the horse? Did he suspect anything?
No, grown-ups just assume we're at their service.
He didn't even thank me. Do you see him?
- No, he's gone through the fields. - Jump up.
You. Help me.
- What do I do with my basket? - Pick up the droppings behind me.
We can't leave any tracks. I want to see it full later.
And that's what you call a republic!
I'm gonna show the Velrans. I'll ride my horse to battle.
- Is that all you could find? - It's Mr. Chafouin's donkey.
- Can it go fast? - Yes!
Amazing. Now I'm a general with his own cavalry.
Help!
I'll show you! Go! I won't tell you twice!
Traitor! Dumb-ass!
We got him.
Let's tie him up.
Marie! Damn it, come on, Marie!
I'm coming.
- Do you want me to sew something? - Just help me with the donkey.
One, two, three and...
They won. Hurrah for the cavalry!
The cavalry on horses, that's okay. But not on this dumb-ass.
They're going to the fort. Come on.
- What about the donkey? - It's not gonna go anywhere.
What will Mr. Chafouin say?
Halt. Let's unload our spoils of war.
Marie, come over here.
Lower Laztec's pants down.
Buttons, suspenders and shoelaces taken from the Velrans go in here.
Give me time to count them.
9 buttons from Truyat, 1 belt from Migue The Moon...
1 zipper from Dufagot, 6 sweater buttons from Fetuchin...
1 suspender clip from Greluchet, 1 shoelace from Valorin.
- The donkey's still at the quarry. - I'll help you.
I have something else to say.
Dear fort, until today, we had nothing.
But now that we have you, we are owners.
Now we can tell grown-ups-- everybody, on the count of three--
- Die! - Die!
- Shit. - Little Gibus!
I don't want to hear bad language on a day like this.
- What do we say to the world? - Die! Die! Die!
- What do I do with the droppings? - Eat them.
- Come on. Come on. - Look! He moved.
- You wish. - He did! He went from here to here.
- How do you know? - I'll make a mark.
I'll show you he's moving.
- He moved at least 3 inches! - At this pace...
We're gonna get a thrashing when we get home.
It's dark. We'll be discreet.
I've had it! Let's go.
What in hell is going on?
Did you break something again?
Here you are.
I'm warning you, I know all my lessons by heart.
So if somebody wants to send me to boarding school, it will be unfair.
- Look who's here! Laztec! - Macailler!
- Are you going to the fair? - Yes, I'm picking up my tractor.
- Ouch! Going to the fair, Laztec? - Pray to come out in one piece.
Would you like my window seat? Ouch! Ow!
- Get lost, you fartface. - Come on, we're friends.
Let me sit next to you.
What if I said "Lebraque is a creep" when I get back?
What if I told you what Lebraque and the others are doing?
Let me sit next to you and I'll tell you...
what they'll do Thursday in the fort they're building.
They've built a fort next to the old quarry.
They have a treasure. It's a bag of buttons.
Next Thursday, they'll all be there.
They say we're a republic, but...
- Is everybody here? - Yes.
- Does everybody have bread? - Yes.
- 12 chocolate bars. - Yes.
4 pounds of sugar cubes.
- So, are you done yet? - Wait, I'm doing the inventory.
Laztec, October 16th.
Migue The Moon, September 20th.
- 4 liters of red wine. - Correct.
5 packs of Gauloises cigarettes.
- Almost done. - Hey, guys, we're almost done.
You're coming too, Macailler. Nobody will be left out.
- It's everybody's celebration. - Let's go, guys.
- Who wants to make a speech? - Lebraque!
No, not me. Not again!
- Why don't I give a speech? - Shut up. We're here to have fun.
- What if I gave a funny speech? - Let's have an aperitif first.
Pour it, Camus.
It's good brandy. It will knock your socks off.
We'll start with a nip, but then let's move on to wine!
- Who has a dirty story to tell? - Me! Me!
Guys, look what I dug up.
Me too.
"The Journal of Medicine Breast oedema"
- Just press on them. - What's an o-e-dema?
Can't you tell from the picture?
- Just ask Marie. - Marie. Explain to him.
No.
We've seen show before. Come on, show us.
- Little Gibus can't see my oedemas! - Hey, why not?
- Because you don't have any. - They haven't grown yet.
- How do you know? - You don't read that magazine.
Leave her alone. She doesn't want to.
- Anyhow, we're here to party! - To hell with the Velrans!
They have a cavalry. Well, now we have tanks.
Today's youths are something. He's also a great mechanic.
- Hey, where are you going? - It stalls in 3rd gear!
I want to try driving it uphill. It'll only take 15 minutes.
See, he knows his stuff.
I tell you.
Achtung, citizens! Today you can scream "Hurrah for our fort"...
because we've built a rectangular parallelepiped with a 6mX3m base...
which makes: 6 times 3 equals 18 square metres.
Since, citizens, the surface of a rectangle equals...
the short side multiplied by the long side.
The volume is 18 times its height of 2 metres...
that is 36 cubic metres...
because the volume of a rectangular parallelepiped equals...
the base surface multiplied by the height, citizens.
Unlike the volume of a pyramid...
which is obtained by dividing the height by two.
Therefore, citizens...
if we theorized...
that our fort was a pyramind...
we would have to multiply 36 by 1...
or 18 by 2.
- Citizens-- - Bravo!
Wait! The surface of a trapeze--
My turn to give a speech.
- Out of my way! - What's wrong with him?
If Lacrique keeps going on like this, I'm gonna do the same.
Me too.
Come on, Macailler. Show us you're man enough to sing a song.
Little Jesus was going to school
Carrying the cross on his shoulders
When he retained his lessons he would receive a bonbon
An apple to put in his mouth
A bouquet to put in his heart
The Velrans! The Velrans!
Not me! Not me! Ask Laztec.
Leave Macailler alone.
Lacrique, Big Gibus, follow Macailler!
Laztec, don't! Don't!
Not our fort!
- Get our warchest, Camus. - I'm going in.
Well, Marie. You've got your work cut out for you.
I knew I shouldn't have went!
- Let go of me! I want to go home! - There he is.
- Let me go home! - Take him in!
- What did I do to you? - Let's get to the bottom of this.
- We don't serve justice like that. - What justice?
You'll see that later. I say there's a traitor among us.
- Where? - Look in the mirror!
- Wait. He hasn't confessed yet. - You're gonna wait a long time.
- Why did Laztec leave you alone? - I don't know.
- You were at the fair with him. - Mr. Chafouin saw you.
- Why did the Velrans let you go? - I don't know.
- I saw you. - Hey don't move! I can't sew!
I didn't do anything. What do you have against me?
Let's find out. Tie his arms and legs.
No, it's not me. It's not true.
Wait, guys. Lacrique, come here.
How did they force traitors to confess during the Middle Ages?
- They roasted their toes. - Take off his shoes.
Let go of me. What did I do to you?
- Like this, Lebraque? - Hold his feet!
I confess! I did it! I did it!
- Untie him. We're gonna judge him. - I confessed! You can't touch me.
It took us weeks to build the fort.
We built it with our labor, courage, and even our education.
Ask Lacrique: the surfaces, the volumes, everything.
We didn't learn all that for nothing because of our fort.
All that has been smashed because of you.
- We've lost half of our war chest. - You stole from all of us.
You're a thief, Macailler.
You have no excuse.
You made us lose a battle. I feel ashamed tonight.
We all fled because we'd been betrayed.
And when there's a traitor, all battles are lost.
- So, we're gonna kill him? - We should.
We're gonna pierce his eyes with needles and sew his eyelids shut?
No. Drop his pants.
Since he's hurt us all, we'll flog him first.
We'll take turns and then we'll decide what to do with him.
I said I would only be 15 minutes.
Mommy!
That's my boy!
- Who did this to you? - Lebraque and his friends.
- My god! - Mommy!
My little Jesus, what happened?
It's that little hoodlum Lebraque again.
What happened, my little Jesus?
They tortured him.
Then it's the parents who must face the music.
I'm gonna tell you what I think. Your kids are all hoodlums.
They're hoodlums and savages.
And I'm gonna sue the parents for damages.
In the fort-- Mom-- Dad--
They undressed me. They beat me.
Be quiet!
We're gonna get it.
Stop whining. Last time we're the ones who thrashed the Velrans.
Don't you remember Migue The Moon with his shorts on his head?
That's what he looked like. Look, I'm Migue The Moon.
How funny. I can see the ground.
I can walk like this. I'm not scared.
You little hoodlum!
- Macailler spilled the beans. - What are we gonna do?
You're gonna get a good licking. You're gonna pay for this.
You're gonna get it good! They're back!
You're gonna remember it!
- Here comes your father, Boulon. - Go, we'll see what he says.
- We can't let him go alone. - Let's all go. Right, Lebraque?
I would if I knew they wouldn't send me to boarding school.
- You too will have to go home. - They might calm down by tonight.
Okay, but for us it's the sooner, the better.
- Tell them, Lebraque. - He's right, guys. Go.
- I give the command over to Camus. - Form ranks and follow me.
Forward and march.
Bye, guys.
Bye, Lebraque.
Damn tractor!
Why buttons? And how many?
How did you pay for them? Are you going to tell me?
It's not me. I didn't do anything.
Who's going to pay the damages?
You'll grow up to be a criminal.
Who did this?
Me! Lebraque! You won't get me that easily!
I'd rather die than live in your dumps or your boarding schools!
You'll never find me! Die, you pigs!
Look who's here.
You don't need this anymore.
I'm telling you, we'll find him!
- Even if it takes all day. - Or night.
In any case, we won't die of thirst. He'd better watch out!
Should we tell the police?
Tell them to mind their own business.
Let's have a snack.
We can't go with our stomachs empty.
- Do we start with red or white? - How about one of each.
Mind you, in my young days, I may have done the same thing.
- What thing are you talking about? - My boy and yours.
Suppose you would've snitched. I would've smashed your face.
If you're defending him, what are you doing here?
I'm not. I'm just telling you I don't like snitches.
I'm gonna tell you something, Lebraque.
Go ahead, tell him.
With your big mouth and the way you defend him...
you'll be all hugs and kisses when we find him. You'll forgive him.
Me, forgive him?
I'll show you if I'll forgive him! Let him try to get away!
You don't know what's in my pockets.
Look at this.
I'll fry his butt if he tries to get away.
A good old grenade from Grandpa Lebraque.
A grenade from the real war.
From Verdun, 1916. Not from their stupid war with the atomic bomb.
Ye Gods! Look at this!
Lebraque, wait!
Damn! Let me throw it back before it explodes.
- Oh, God! - I'm dead!
You idiots! Can't you see it's defused?
I want to scare my boy, not kill him.
Who's the nitwit who threw that?
Nitwit yourself! Anyhow, it's defused.
You'd have to be from Longeverne to do such a stupid trick.
You didn't say that when we got drunk at your place the other day.
- No, but I used to 40 years ago. - Well, your sister is ugly.
She may be ugly, but she's still too good for you!
Get out of here, Velrans. You're in Longeverne territory.
Who says that?
Damn it!
First warning.
Second warning. Fire!
To hell with the Velrans!
To hell with the Longeverne!
Creeps! Dumb-asses! Soft balls!
What happened? Is anybody hurt?
I don't know how a real one got in there.
I could slap a fine on you!
You just reminded me. I was gonna go fishing with it.
God!
- Let's have a drink to recover. - There's enough for everyone.
1916. Can't complain about the quality.
If it keeps going, you're gonna see my--
My pants are bursting at the seams
If it keeps going you're gonna see--
- They didn't get him. - I knew he wouldn't get caught.
Hey, you found some buddies.
Now, let's have a bite.
They're not gonna come bug us.
Don't move, I'll be back.
Find him.
Go, otherwise you'll lead the dogs to me.
Sorry, my friends, they're gonna go after you or after me.
Don't be mad at me. Run fast. The two of us will manage.
If he's really drowned, we'll need divers.
My boy is not the kind to commit suicide.
Sorry, buddy. I have no other choice.
You keep quiet. Let me sleep.
Lebraque!
Lebraque! The teacher said not to do something stupid!
Loggers, sir! Can we go see them?
Yes, but be careful.
Give me your hand.
Camus, what kind of tree are they cutting down?
An oak, sir.
- What will they do with it? - They'll feed it to the pigs.
You feed its acorns to the pigs, but what about the wood?
- They'll make furniture, sir. - Very good.
- Freedom or Death! - Lebraque!
See, you'll be able to put your personal belongings here.
Come on, it's not a prison.
Is it?
Another tough cookie, huh?
I'll be back next Thursday.
If you behave, they won't keep you here very long. I'll see to it.
By the way, what should I tell your father?
Tell him he could have brought me himself.
Bye, little guy. Behave.
Excuse me, sir.
I know this one too. Is he in the same dorm?
He's new too.
Don't leave them together or there's gonna be some rough stuff.
Believe me, I know them firsthand. That's how I make a living.
A very meager living, I might add.
Are you new too?
Laztec.
Lebraque.
- What are you doing here? - It's my dad. And you?
Me too.
- I can't believe it! Laztec! - Lebraque!
- Good old Laztec! - Good old Lebraque!
The creeps.
To think that when we're big we'll be as dumb as they are.
THE END